Pie And Heresy

This has been a most interesting break. After an uneventful flight, I landed myself into the fullness of events. It has been nonstop, but nonstop in that way that is relaxing. I know, it's odd, but it's true. Most true things are odd.

Juxtaposed to (or is the idiom, with?) the familiar sights, sounds, people, I have explored new thoughts and ideas. I read G.K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy, and he said something very interesting in it, which goes like such:

People have fallen into a foolish habit of speaking of orthodoxy as something heavy, humdrum, and safe. There never was anything so perilous or so exciting as orthodoxy. It was sanity: and to be sane is more dramatic than to be mad . . . The orthodox Church never took the tame course or accepted the conventions; the orthodox Church was never respectable . . . It is easy to be a madman: it is easy to be a heretic. It is always easy to let the age have its head; the difficult thing is to keep one's own.

And again, he wrote:

I did try to found a heresy of my own; and when I had put the last touches to it, I discovered that it was orthodoxy.

I feel like this. Because I continue to dialogue, read, pray, think, and work through my 'heresies' as I have affectionately daubed them (to my own flippancy, which Chesterson also remarks on quite a bit), I am discovering that these thoughts are not new, and are not unorthodox. I have traditions of the Church, acts of Christ, theological debates, and just common sense backing me up. And that is encouraging.

This break from school has been good. I am returning a little different. I guess we all are. But for the better, I will assume. I will hope. This dialogue will continue, this journey, this flame quivering on the candle of life, burning ever nearer to the wick. It's late. I wax poetic. I apologize. Good night, friends, and good luck.

Not merely to exist...

Life is lived in the tension.

After one semester of college, that is what I have discovered. I know. What a huge philosophical insight...Not really. Anyways, this is what I mean, and I will tell you it, because I think it is important enough for me to write as it is for you to read, and perhaps, through reading, discover something new about yourself, about life. If my life could be a message, I would want it to be a message of self-reflection and self-discovery.

Life is lived in the tension.

After one semester of college, that is what I have learned with certainty. Aristotle also articulated a similar approach to morals as I am approaching to life in general. Aristotle argues that true morality lies between two extremes. For example, between cowardice and rashness there is the correct amount of courage. To take that precept of moderation and the tension arising between differing points of view, life can be understood similarly. Like a pendulum, thoughts and ideas and practices swing back and forth, violently at times, but are at rest in balance. I am not saying that we should balance good and evil, but having a proper understanding of good and evil.

Life is lived in the tension.

As I think more and more about the Bible and this moderate implication for Christians, I think I am discovering more and more of what Christ wanted. He said, "Love one another," and, "Do unto one another as you would have done unto you." And between the Pharisees and the hedonists, there is a crossing of ways. The perfect pattern. And we live searching for that mold, that essence, that life well lived, well examined, well done.

Life is lived in the tension.

We are swinging, sometimes too far one way, other times too far the other, waiting and hoping and trying to get back to the dynamic equilibrium of rest. We live in the tension, the paradox. And I would have it no other way.

So, I had some awesome conversations today that I would like to share.

The first one was about John 20:15, which says - "Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?" Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."

I think John had a stroke of genius when he wrote. The connection between Jesus and Adam is made complete. Adam, as the first gardener, tended the earth, and now the connection is drawn to the resurrected Jesus. As a perfect man, as a risen Lord, he is mistaken to be the gardener, which he is in another way, and I think that it also challenges us today - to care for the earth. What was man supposed to do in the beginning anyways? What was Jesus compared to? A gardener. Continuing in this pattern of thinking, I also think that people too often look to Jesus as just a sacrifice for sins, which he was, of course, but he was also the supreme example of how we should live. Many say - including Nietzsche and Gandhi - that they loved and respect Christ, but not Christians. We have fallen short of our example. I believe that must continue to move beyond "good and evil" and start loving and redeeming the world.

Besides that conversation, I also had an amazing class and an intended conversation with Nick and Ben afterwards about it. Those guys rock. Anyways, this has been a good day. Once again, college has challenged me to think again about what I believe and why I believe it. I wonder if I am going to go home and have my parents think I am a heretic...

Hopefully not. Ah, life. Where are you taking me? Where I am going with you?

...insomnia...

it is five am and i am still awake. we played lord of the rings risk, and now i am typing out a blog entry, because when i came back to my room, my roommate still was not here. he is probably in the room down the hall. so, with the lights and music on, i am just letting my thoughts flow. sometimes it is good to be alone. other times...not so good. it is the middle of the night. and i am alone in this cell of a room. the middle of the night.

....i think i just might be walking in my sleep...i know i am searching for something. something. something. something. (i go walking.)

do you know what it is?

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday...

Do you ever wonder if there is a place that we are supposed to be at a certain moment for a certain reason? If there is, what is our purpose for being where we are now? And what happens if we miss it?

I guess what I am trying to say is that I want to live with intentionality. We only ever get each moment once. What are I going to do with that moment?

Certain people come into and out of our lives for certain reasons. We may not know for years what those reasons are, but while they are here, we must make the most of it. Cherish those people, love them, remember them. Memory is the most fickle goddess, but the greatest friend to have when you are alone, perhaps. Either pain or pleasure can be derived from memory, but memory in itself, in existing, is a good - it teaches, instructs, reveals, and redeems hardships. Even one day it will be good to look back on these things. Vergil.

But remember to stop, breath in the snowy air, walk with friends, laugh, because there is too much sorrow in the world, and if we never took the time to do these things, we would never have the best of memory. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am thankful. Truly.

...backspace.

I wrote an entry. Posted it. And then deleted it.




Don't you wish life was like that sometimes?

I need to work on transitions.

What is done is done. Or so I thought. I constantly think that this life cannot get more confusing, but then constantly it does. But that's okay. I think.

I think I am beginning to accept the insanity of life. Do I have any more answers on account of this acceptance? Nope, and once again, I can accept that. The answers will come. I will just live day by day. What else can I do? I do not know the future. I do not know the past either, by the way. I thought something was one way, when it was obviously not, and I can see that now, after someone has defogged my rearview mirror. Do I have any answers? No. Not even to the past. All I have is the present. Sure, I can reflect on the past, plan for the future, and things of that nature, but none of that is guaranteed. Today is all that is. So what then must I do? In this state of life, in this state of perfect freedom, I am not to give into licentiousness, but to rise above that, as both Nietzsche and Jesus have said, "To move beyond good and evil." You must be saying, "What? Jeremy? Have you gone crazy? Jesus never said that, and Nietzsche is not the most sympathetic to Christian beliefs."

I have not gone crazy, but I am beginning to see both Christ and Nietzsche in new lights. Christ came not to enslave us to laws or to any religious systematic litany. The call of Christ was a call to a higher form of life, beyond the gnats and the camels, to mercy, justice, and love. That was His call. To live a life beyond what the religious authority deemed "good" and "evil." And Nietzsche too argues for it, and although sometimes is interrupted as arguing that is all about power – upon closer readings it is more of a movement to be more humane and more “moral” but not with an imposed morality, but a true human goodness that is beyond the socially constructed systems. The two, though, cannot be reconciled, since Christ claims that this can only be done by living like and for Him, while Nietzsche has killed God and maintains that in order to atone for that “evil,” man must become like this, and become gods themselves.

All that to say: how I live today is all that I have control over. Sure, I will prepare for the future, remember the past, but in the end, all I can do is for today, love people, love God, and strive to know both humanity and God better, by discovering God, I discover humanity, and by discovering those, I discover myself and where I am going. Perhaps life is not really about the destination – heaven or hell, but about the life that is lived. As cliché that it is – it is about the journey. I must, as Paul says, “Live a life worthy of the calling you have received,” which is as simple and profound as this – “Follow me.” The very first words of Jesus to his disciples are the same to his disciples today. Perhaps Republican candidate Mike Huckabee was right when he said that instead of arguing over the finer points of the Bible, we should focus on the explicit claims and get those down first – such as loving your neighbor and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.

That’s all I can think of doing. And perhaps on this difficult journey with difficult commands, I will discover where I am going, whom I am going with, what we will do, and why we will do it. No man lives in isolation. Community is all around us. It only needs to be discovered.